Thursday, May 11, 2023

The Harmful Impact of the "Not Black Enough" Label: A Discussion on the Importance of Inclusion and Identity

As a mixed-race female living in Canada, I have experienced firsthand the impact of the "not black enough" label. This label, often used to describe people who do not fit into a narrow and outdated definition of ethnicity, can be harmful coming from both sides of "race". In my case, it's not belonging to enough "blackness" or "whiteness" because my parents of different skin colour and tones, chose to have me. It is important to recognize the impact of this label and to have an open discussion about the importance of inclusion and identity. 

Sometimes, people say they don't even realize until they see my hair, or perhaps they've spoken to me on the phone and I can speak so eloquently and sound well educated and didn't realize my race. Then add even more confusion that I have naturally blue, blue eyes. If I'm wearing glasses at the time they'll ask "are those contacts.  I'm sure they don't intend to mean harm but I'm always puzzled why my physical features even matter - especially when we're working on a business transaction. 

 Words have the power to shape our understanding of ourselves and the world around us. When we use language to define and categorize people based on their race, we create divisions that can lead to exclusion and discrimination. The "not black enough" label is a prime example of this type of language. It implies that there is only one way to be black and that anyone who does not fit into this narrow definition is somehow less authentic or less worthy of respect. Same way of being "white", Latina, Asian, etc. 

I will only speak of my experience but this label can be harmful coming from both sides of "race". On one hand, it can be used by black individuals to exclude and ostracize those who do not fit into their definition of blackness. This can create a sense of alienation and isolation for mixed-race individuals who may feel like they do not belong in either the black or white communities. On the other hand, this label can also be used by white individuals to deny the experiences of mixed-race individuals and to reinforce harmful stereotypes about what it means to be black. It is important to recognize that the concept of "race" is a social construct. 

Quite honestly, this is something I have struggled with for a very long time. Even since I was a young child and on the playground with my school friends, in a predominantly "white", small town. Then, add the time that I was severely harmed when I was dating a charming young man in high school. It was winter, we went to his home for lunch and him mom was there. She was so kind, extended her hand to me, smiled "nice to meet you" and then I took my winter toque off which displayed all my 3B "kinky" hair in which her smile turned instantly to a frown and it's almost like her face flushed. Needless to say, the boy broke up with me the next day. What's funny is that I didn't think of it. I didn't think of my skin colour being a problem or that I was different until people told me I was. I didn't look at people for their skin colour. Even with the young black boy, all I can remember his arrogance and rudeness but that's not a race thing, leaning over my til at the McDonald's cash after a roller skating night and going "yo, baby, baby, baby, yo, yo....yo girl, if you're a N, why you got blue eyes". 👀 Why does any of this matter and why do people feel it's necessary to point out I'm different?

My mom loved me, put me into dancing so I was busy doing that. If you wanted to ride your bike with me, play Barbies, do sports and hang out, you were nice to me, I was nice to you. I never, not once said I could or could not be friends with someone because of the colour of their skin or their Nationality or Race.  

Never, did I ever have the notion of not engaging in conversation with someone because of that. As I type this, I still hurt. I guess this is my need to heal from childhood trauma. I've moved on, I'm successful in life but it's still painful how I was treated. I know this is not a character flaw of my own and somehow I have developed empathy that this is how people were just raised and they have this unconscious bias that spills over. For the boy in highschool, I know he continued to visit me from time to time and apologize on behalf of his mother and that he had no choice since he was under 18 and relied on his parents for shelter and helping to pay for his University one day. As the adage goes, "I've forgiven, but not forgotten". In today's world, continue to experience in the business world and in this case, "not black enough" on multiple occasions from members of the BIPOC community. It feels like I cannot win.

There is no biological basis for race, and the categories that we use to define race are not fixed or immutable. Identity is complex and multifaceted, and no one has the right to define someone else's identity for them. We all have the right to define ourselves and to be accepted for who we are. Inclusion and diversity are essential for creating a more equitable and just society. When we embrace diversity, we create opportunities for learning and growth, and we create a more inclusive and welcoming environment for all. It is important to celebrate and recognize the diversity of our communities, and to work towards creating environments where everyone feels valued and included. 

 We can all do our part to promote inclusion and diversity. Whether it's through educating ourselves about different cultures and experiences, speaking out against exclusion and discrimination, or simply being open and welcoming to those who are different from us, we can all make a difference. Let's work together to create a world where everyone feels like they belong. This is most likely why I am such a huge advocate today. I'm happy to proclaim myself as "Chief Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) Officer"

 Join the conversation about inclusion and diversity. Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.



 
Hashtags: #inclusionmatters #diversityandinclusion #identity #notblackenough #socialconstruct #equitable #justsociety #speakout #acceptance #belonging #differentisbeautiful

Sunday, August 27, 2017

Wow! Amazing How Easy I Am To Please - What About You?

Recently I did a favour for a friend. It wasn't a big deal to me and it wasn't out of my way. So needless to say I didn't expect anything in return. Well, I received something in a big way. Big to me. You see, it was something I really appreciated and loved. I really appreciate anyone who takes time to be thoughtful. So thanks again.

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Barrie's First Women, Wine & Wealth Symposium!

“From Poverty to Profits!”
Meet Shanna McFarlane — Also known as the Power-house Entrepreneur who went from “Homeless on the Streets to Owning the Street!”  Her rags to riches story and life of many adversities will amaze, inspire & empower you; this wife and mother went from being ‘Homeless on the Streets to owning the Street’ in her own right, creating an empire in the business of real estate entrepreneurship!

MAKE 2015 YOUR YEAR OF CHANGE! Did you know - Women are becoming more of a powerful economic force. A Globe & Mail Article recently wrote "Women have long been relegated to the sidelines of the financial services sector, where advisers have traditionally focused on men and their money. Now the tables are turning and wealth managers face an unprecedented transformation as more women outlive their spouses, hold an increasing share of jobs and take greater control over family finances." 
Bottom line: Women are learning, working, earning and controlling wealth more than ever before, and their wealth planning needs have grown accordingly.
So, this is why we are happy to introduce the Barrie Women and Wealth Symposium Saturday January 17th!  ONE DAY ONLY!
If you are a woman looking for options, in a non-intimidating environment then this is for you! We will have on-hand professionals for YOU to get on the information on how you can take control of your finances and wealth, learn what opportunities are available.
What do you need to know?
*RRSP's, Stocks, Mututal Funds
*Real Estate Investing Opportunities - What's available/turnkey?
*Financial Literacy, Debt Control/Reduction
*Property Management *Accounting
*Mortgage/Financing Strategies what is available? 
*Landlord/Tenant, Small Claims/Paralegal Questions or Challenges?
We welcome all levels and professions to come share experiences and learn in an un-intimidating and open environment of professionals we have personally selected. 
THE GOAL? INSPIRE, EDUCATE AND MOTIVATE women to want to take action and create financial freedom (any age; whether single or in a relationship); obtain financial independence and security; gain financial knowledge and confidence. This symposium is a non-selling environment and only for those saying to themselves ENOUGH! And ready to take charge!  
$599 Value - Online ticket price $30 - Tickets not available at the door
Join us at Canadian WIN - Women Investment Network
http://facebook.com/CanadianWIN

Friday, June 6, 2014

12 Ladies In A Tent - GO TRAIN Pull Challenge (yes, seriously)

In the name of the Barrie Food Bank and Charity we were very honoured to be able to seriously pull this rather large commuter GO Train. We were timed for 60 seconds. Don't believe me...take a look.
Thanks to Kevin Frankish of BT for being host


Saturday, May 17, 2014

Empowering Women - Financial Independence & 4 Types of People today...

Which one can you relate to? Sure there must be a quadrant that you can figure out that you fit into. Here's a video as explained by "Rich Woman" Kim Kiyosaki. It's relative to today as it helps you to understand people in business and every day life. Know where you fit and who you're dealing with

Friday, May 16, 2014

Empowering Women, Young Ladies and inspiring Change

This is just great! It's a "high brow/low brow" test with real person and celebrity Mayim Bialik previously of "Blossom" and presently "Big Bang Theory". I've had the opportunity of chatting with her via social media and love watching and reading her posts. She's not only an actor but smart enough to have put that on the back burner when a child star and explore her passion of Neo Science. So to say she's a "brainiac" would be true words. Watch the video below as her knowledge of pop culture vs science in "high brow" is tested. In addition to her intellectual talents, she is true to herself in her opinions of raising her children, being vegan (just released a book) and her faith (personal blog at

The Official Mayim Bialik Blog at Kveller

www.kveller.com/mayim-bialik/


In addition to that, Mayim Bialik is partnering with DeVry University for National HerWorld Month to show high school girls how they can make a difference in their world through STEM. Bialik will host a HerWorld event in New York City, one of the over 20 HerWorld events taking place across the country this month.

Saturday, May 10, 2014

I'm Not This Frog, Are you?

Question: There are 3 frogs on a leaf. If one of them decided to jump off the leaf into the water, how many frogs are there left on the leaf?



Answer: Three! Why? The frog only DECIDED to jump but it didn’t!

Dreaming of achieving personal accomplishments or goals, most people make the mistake of waiting.
Waiting until they’ve been trained more
Waiting until someone says they are ready 
Waiting until they have the proper tools
Waiting until they’re better
Waiting until they’re hired
Waiting until they’ve been given the assignment
Waiting until they're successful
Waiting until they have more money
Waiting until the New Year and make a "resolution" to get that gym membership

Think about this my friends. Are you like that frog who decides to do this, decides to do that, but then end up not doing anything?

In life we have to make many decisions. Some are easy and some are definitely challenging and seem hard.

Most "mistakes" are not made by wrong decisions and sometimes they're not even "mistakes" but meant to take us to a different path, even if we can't see its value at that time.

Most "mistakes" are made due to our inability to take a right decision at the right time. You can educate yourself all you want to as knowledge is power but if you don't do anything with that learned education then what's the point?

We have to live with the consequences of our decisions. And that is RISK. The best thing that is going to happen to you? Success and happiness.
Happiness and success are truly your own measurement of what you want. Others don't walk in your shoes and can't define you. You're the one in control of your own thoughts, emotions and desires so why are you passing off your control?

If you have your own true level that you want to be at and not happy with results or daily life, then it's in your control to stop "deciding" and take action. It doesn't matter what area of your life it is whether financial/wealth, fitness/health, business, career, family, relationships, whatever it is in your life. It's personal and only you know. You deserve every happiness and success there is in life and the power to empower and create your life, on your terms is now. Don't just "think" or "decide". 

Thanks for viewing! As always, have a great day and remember to "Empower yourself and inspire change in others"